Friends

I was getting in the shower at the gym yesterday, and I saw the sweetest exchange.

Two older ladies were chatting, as one was obviously getting out of the shower and the other was about to get in. The one who was finished said she was heading out to get dressed, and as she left, she said to her friend who was about to shower..."be careful".

Two little words but they say so much.

A few minutes later, the lady in the shower called out to her friend (forgetting she had walked to the other part of the locker room), "What is Sunday's Bible study lesson again?".

I loved their sweet exchange. Lord, may I be so blessed to have Godly female friends in my life until the day I die.

Mid-July Memory Verse

My reasoning for choosing this verse will become more clear in the days and weeks to follow.  For now, here's the verse:

"Test everything.  Hold on to the good." 1 Thessalonians 5:21 (NIV, 84)

That's it.  Short and sweet.  But it's huge, isn't it? Great advice from the Lord.  Don't believe everything you hear.

Motherhood as a Mission Field by Rachel Jankovic

My friend, Lanie Beth, featured this post on her blog yesterday.  When I read it, I was thanking the Lord for a truth that I really needed to hear.  I thought you might need to hear it too.  I am simply copying and pasting it from the original post, which was featured at www.desiringgod.org.

Motherhood as a Mission Field

June 16, 2011 | by: Rachel Jankovic | Category: Commentary

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There is a good old saying, perhaps only said by my Grandfather, that distance adds intrigue. It is certainly true — just think back to anything that has ever been distant from you that is now near. Your driver’s license. Marriage. Children. Things that used to seem so fascinating, but as they draw near become less mystical and more, well, real.

This same principle certainly applies to mission fields too. The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems. As someone once said, “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help Mom with the dishes.” When you are a mother at home with your children, the church is not clamoring for monthly ministry updates. When you talk to other believers, there is not any kind of awe about what you are sacrificing for the gospel. People are not pressing you for needs you might have, how they can pray for you. It does not feel intriguing, or glamorous. Your work is normal, because it is as close to home as you can possibly be. You have actually gone so far as to become home.

Home: The Headwaters of Mission

If you are a Christian woman who loves the Lord, the gospel is important to you. It is easy to become discouraged, thinking that the work you are doing does not matter much. If you were really doing something for Christ you would be out there, somewhere else, doing it. Even if you have a great perspective on your role in the kingdom, it is easy to lose sight of it in the mismatched socks, in the morning sickness, in the dirty dishes. It is easy to confuse intrigue with value, and begin viewing yourself as the least valuable part of the Church.

There are a number of ways in which mothers need to study their own roles, and begin to see them, not as boring and inconsequential, but as home, the headwaters of missions.

At the very heart of the gospel is sacrifice, and there is perhaps no occupation in the world so intrinsically sacrificial as motherhood. Motherhood is a wonderful opportunity to live the gospel. Jim Elliot famously said, “He is no fool who gives up that which he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Motherhood provides you with an opportunity to lay down the things that you cannot keep on behalf of the people that you cannot lose. They are eternal souls, they are your children, they are your mission field.

Faith Makes the Small Offering Great

If you are like me, then you may be thinking “What did I ever give up for them? A desk job? Time at the gym? Extra spending money? My twenty- year- old figure? Some sleep?” Doesn’t seem like much when you put it next to the work of some of the great missionaries, people who gave their lives for the gospel.

Think about the feeding of the five thousand when the disciples went out and rounded up the food that was available. It wasn’t much. Some loaves. Some fish. Think of some woman pulling her fish out and handing it to one of the disciples. That had to have felt like a small offering. But the important thing about those loaves and those fishes was not how big they were when they were given, it was about whose hands they were given into. In the hands of the Lord, that offering was sufficient. It was more than sufficient. There were leftovers. Given in faith, even a small offering becomes great.

Look at your children in faith, and see how many people will be ministered to by your ministering to them. How many people will your children know in their lives? How many grandchildren are represented in the faces around your table now?

Gain What You Cannot Lose in Them

So, if mothers are strategically situated to impact missions so greatly, why do we see so little coming from it?  I think the answer to this is quite simple: sin. Discontent, pettiness, selfishness, resentment. Christians often feel like the right thing to do is to be ashamed about what we have. We hear that quote of Jim Elliot’s and think that we ought to sell our homes and move to some place where they need the gospel.

But I’d like to challenge you to look at it differently. Giving up what you cannot keep does not mean giving up your home, or your job so you can go serve somewhere else. It is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.

It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions, but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.

God loves the little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&J’s will feed thousands. Given in faith, those presents on Christmas morning will bring delight to more children than you can count. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beginning. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God’s hands, it will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all who have need of it have eaten and are satisfied. And even then, there will be leftovers.

Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

This is the day

First, I'm sorry this is so late.  Heck, it's almost time for our mid-June memory verse.  I'm going to predict right now that I will always be late posting memory verses from this point forward.  In fact, I'll probably be late for every single thing I ever do.  Ha!

Having three kids means there's even less time for blogging!  Actually, I just choose to spend my time differently.  Much of my time is usurped by my two older children during the day.  When they are quiet during nap time, and when they go to bed at night, I am finding that I'd much rather hold my baby than check email, clean, blog, or just about anything else.  I know you mothers out there understand, especially if you're a mother of more than one.

Anywho.  Today's memory verse.

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Simple.  Short.  But for me?  Right now?  Crucial.  I'm finding that my days are kind of tough.  I predict a post about that in the near future.  Until then, let's just say this new normal is hard for me.  It's exhausting, mentally and physically.  And emotionally.  I am tempted to throw a pity party.  Pretty much every day.

Instead, I'm going to use this verse as a daily reminder that even though today may be hard, today is the day the Lord has made.  He has given it to me as a gift.  My response is a choice.  Feel sorry for myself.  Or choose to accept His gift and give Him the response He deserves.  To rejoice.  Because even on a hard day, I am lavished with His blessings.  I can choose to be glad.  Or should I say that I'm going to try to be glad.

I find it much easier to memorize a verse if I have a song to go with it, so here's a link to a sweet video of an adorable little boy singing the song that goes with this verse.

http://youtu.be/hqYctnjwNG4

Praise the Lord for parents who are teaching their children to worship the Lord by singing His Word!

Oops. Our memory verse.

What do you know?  It's April 3rd.  That just dawned on me this morning.  It's April 3rd, and I haven't done an April 1st memory verse.  Oops.  I'm sorry, y'all.  I don't have an excuse, other than the last few weeks have been crazy, I have two small kids, and I'm 33 weeks pregnant with another.  I know you understand.

Speaking of the last few weeks.  I know I mentioned here how sick the girls had been, but I just want to update the list of illnesses we've had in our house the last few weeks.  It's almost comical.  But I haven't been laughing about it yet.  Maybe in a month or two.  Beginning on March 8th, and continuing until now, we've had:

• 2 cases of the flu
• 3 ear infections
• 3 cases of pink eye
• 2 cases of diarrhea (Layla still has it - they say it's from the Augmentin)
• 2 cases of vomiting
• 1 case of vaginitis (By the way, it's not a good idea to use soap on your little girls' private parts or to let them sit in the tub for a long time with soap/shampoo in the water.  Just in case you were wondering.  Right now I'm trying to figure out how to avoid long baths and still find time to wash/condition/comb 2 heads of unruly hair.  Suggestions are welcome.)
• 1 case of sinusitis
• 1 head cold
• and whatever Derrick has had that hasn't been diagnosed, but over the last couple of weeks, he's had a sore throat, fever, diarrhea, congestion, a very stiff neck, and his eye sight is failing.  Bad.  I think we're getting old or something.

And that brings me to today's verse.  It sort of applies in the same way our last memory verse applied.  And again, the idea for the verse came to me this morning, as I sat in church listening to one our pastors, Seth Hoover, preach a fantastic sermon.  This week's sermon was about David.

The main point of the sermon was that David was passionate about God because of the picture of God that he held in his heart.  His passion for God didn't change based on circumstances.  I don't know about you, but I am very guilty of letting my circumstances determine how I feel about/toward God.  Like I said a couple of weeks ago, with all the sickness in our house, I was very quick to stop talking to the Lord.  Frighteningly quick.  It's been interesting to see how each of the sermons I've heard since then have applied so well to what I was/am feeling.  God's promises are true (from our last verse).  And now, God is loving, faithful, righteous, and just, no matter the circumstances that surround me.  I want to remember this verse and have this picture of the Lord ingrained in my heart so that when I'm in the middle of less than pleasant circumstances, I don't doubt my God, because I know He is loving, faithful, righteous, and just.

"Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep." Psalm 36:5-6 (NIV, 1984)

Some of you may get lucky with this verse, because there's a fairly popular worship song that has lyrics close to these in the chorus.  If you know that song, it'll be that much easier to memorize this verse.  Let's commit this one to memory.  Let's develop a healthy and true image of the Lord in our hearts so that we can be passionate about Him, no matter our circumstances.  If you have already mastered this, you're ahead of the game!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEF7IoQ3eUk

If this is your first time reading a Memory Verse post and want to know how/why we started doing memory verses, click here.  If you'd like to see all the verses we've memorized so far this year, click here.  Last, but not least, if you'd like to watch the sermons from our church live on Sunday mornings, click here.  (As of right now, this morning's broadcast is still on there.)  This series has been great so far, so I definitely recommend watching the sermons if you find yourself at home on a Sunday morning.  You can also find all the sermons from Momentum on iTunes as a podcast and listen to them anytime.

Scripture Memorization

So, just after I resolved not to make any resolutions, I read an email from my dear friend, Lanie Beth, and now I'm resolving to memorize 24 scriptures this year.

Lanie Beth is participating in Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory Team for 2010.  If you're interested in memorizing scripture, this is a great way to get started.  There are a couple of posts on the Living Proof Ministries Blog that you will want to read before you start.  Start with this one, then read this one.

As a quick recap, Beth will be posting a new SSMT post on the 1st and 15th of every month.  If you want to participate in her memory team, you simply have to leave a comment on the blog with the verse you're memorizing and a couple of other details.  Here's the kicker.  If you leave 21 out of 24 comments (meaning you don't forget to comment more than 3 times this year), you get into the SSMT celebration event in January 2012 for FREE.  All you have to bring to get in is your notebook where you wrote down the 24 verses you memorized throughout the year.  And from what I've read, the SSMT celebration event is a LOT of fun!

With all of that said, I don't think I will be able to travel to Houston for the SSMT celebration in 2012, because we're taking a big ski trip at the end of this year, and I don't think I would be financially able to handle another trip in January 2012.  BUT...I still think it would be awesome to memorize 24 verses this year.

So I'm going to try it.  And I'm going to try to post my verse on the 1st and 15th of the month here on this blog.  If you want to participate along with me, feel free to memorize the verse I post, or choose your own.  For each verse, write it down in a little notebook or on a note card, and take it with you everywhere.  Read it and reread it.  Meditate on it.  As Beth says, you will spend your days meditating on something.  Why not make it God's Word?  And if you think you could make it to Houston next January, be sure to leave a comment on the Living Proof Ministries Blog on the 1st and 15th as well.  Who would not relish a chance to meet Beth Moore?

Here's my verse for January 1st (4 days late, but who's counting?):

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  -Psalm 34: 17-18 (NIV)

Beth encourages the SSMT participants to choose verses that apply to their own lives.  I won't say I'm brokenhearted right now or crushed in spirit, but I did have a rough patch last week, and I know for sure that I will need a comforting verse like this at some point in the future.  And, if by some chance, I don't need it, someone else will.  I'm always searching for a good verse to bring comfort in a time of despair.

Won't you participate with me?  Even if you think you're not good at memorizing scripture, is there anything to lose by trying?  If nothing else, at least you will fill your mind with words from the Lord rather than all the other junk that is a product of our world.

Radical Compassion

Yesterday was one of those Sundays. You know the ones. When you hear a message at church that is so fresh and honest, so right on that it changes your life, or at least your view on life.

Our preacher knew it. He started his message saying he felt like the Lord was really up to something. And He was.

 

The message was on Radical Compassion, a way of life that we, as Christians, should be living out, according to the Bible. Our church staff has been reading "Radical", by David Platt. I haven't read it yet, but now I really want to. Here's a video they showed in church. Take a look, if you dare.

I don't know about you, but I seriously felt like I was going to puke when I was watching that video. (Of course, I am pregnant and had just eaten a yucky breakfast, but I don't think that had anything to do with it.) In fact, I kind of felt like I was going to puke through the whole sermon. Like someone had punched me in the stomach.

I know the reason I felt like that is because I knew the Holy Spirit was convicting me with the Truth coming out of my pastor's mouth.

The main two passages of scripture that he used were Luke 10:25-37 (the parable of the Good Samaritan) and 1 Timothy 6:6-10,17-19.

Our pastor asked us to look at the story of the Good Samaritan with new eyes. To see the Samaritan's radical compassion. The Samaritan was walking along the road and noticed a man who'd been robbed, who was beaten and broken. A man who had been over-looked by a priest and a temple helper, both of whom had passed by without lending a helping hand. How many times am I the priest or the temple helper? Far too many.

The Samaritan not only noticed the man, he sacrificed time out of his busy schedule to pay attention to the man, bandage his wounds, put him on his own donkey, and take him to an inn. He didn't leave the man there alone, either. He stayed with him overnight. And THEN, he paid two days' wages to the inn keeper and asked him to look after the man until he (the Samaritan) returned.

Now that is radical compassion.

The second passage of scripture was very convicting for me.

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs...Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

1 Timothy 6:6-10,17-19

Godliness with contentment is great gain. If we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Do good, be rich in good deeds, and be generous and willing to share.

Pastor Bart left us with two questions. What does radical compassion look like in your life? How are you to use the resources that God has given you?

He also encouraged us to approach Christmas differently this year.

What does radical compassion look like for me? That question was spinning in my mind throughout the sermon. It still is.

What can I do? How can I live a life of radical compassion? Should I sell all of my possessions and move into a homeless shelter to spread the Gospel? Or maybe I should move to Africa? Is it possible to live a life of radical compassion without selling all my stuff or moving? Not because I don't want to. Honestly. I'm just curious. Is it possible? If so, what can I do on a more local scale that would make an impact for the Kingdom?

I think I felt like I was going to puke because I knew that I was sitting there, and I had not had an earnest conversation with the Lord in at least a month. I have let my exhaustion and fatigue due to pregnancy become an excuse. An excuse to lay in bed and watch mindless television instead of reading my Bible or spending time in prayer. I let the pregnancy blahs (not to be confused with the blues) steal my time with the Lord. It's shameful. And sad.

The good news is that yesterday's sermon was a kick in the rear, and I have a fresh view and an eager desire to see how the Lord wants me to live a life of radical compassion.

Can I be honest here? I often feel like my kids and husband hold me back from any sort of radical compassion that I like to believe I would be living out if it weren't for them. I'm not blaming them, but let's be honest - you can't take toddlers to a food pantry or a homeless shelter. The local charities that I am interested in simply do not provide childcare. Of course, now I'm wondering if serving at a local charity qualifies as radical compassion. Is it really radical to sort food at a food pantry? Or to serve food to the homeless?

My head is spinning. I do realize that we can't all sell our possessions and move to Africa in the name of evangelism. There is plenty of work to be done, right here in our own backyards. Jesus did not tell every person to sell their possessions. He told one man to sell all of his possessions, because possessions were what that man cared about most. They were standing in the way of his faith.

Do my possessions stand in the way of my faith? Does my lifestyle? What could, or should, I change to be able to more freely live for Jesus?

These are the questions I have. What does radical compassion look like for me, and how am I to use my resources?

And then, as my three year old started throwing one of those drooling, screaming fits before we got out the door of the church, I started thinking. Maybe for me, having radical compassion is simply loving my kids, who can be pretty unlovable. A lot of the time.

Giftedness

I've been thinking a lot about spiritual gifts.

Truth be told, I didn't just randomly start thinking about them. I told the girls in the college girls' LifeGroup (which I recently started leading) that it would be fun to take a spiritual gifts test and bring the results to our next meeting. So, in preparation for our next meeting, I've been thinking a lot about spiritual gifts.

Did you know:

Every Christian has at least one spiritual gift? (1 Peter 4:10)

No Christian has all the gifts? (1 Cor. 12:28-30)

There is no gift that every Christian possesses? (1 Cor. 12: 29-30)

Spiritual gifts are for the common good to build up the body? (1 Cor. 12:27)

We are instructed to use our gifts in the Bible? (Romans 12, 1 Cor. 12-14, 1 Peter 4:10)

Based on my research, there is a lot of debate about how many different spiritual gifts there are. Some only believe in the gifts listed in Romans 12. Some the gifts listed in 1 Corinthians 12. Even some others the gifts in Ephesians 4.

I like the way the authors of one spiritual gifts assessment put it on their website, "It is not particularly important whether a certain ability is a Spiritual Gift, a blessing from God, a God-given talent, an inherited trait, a natural human ability, or something learned. The thing that is important is that we discover what Gifts are more pronounced in us and to learn how to use them to serve God."

I like the following definition of a spiritual gift, as given by Associate Pastor Mark Hunnicutt - a God-given ability, given by the Holy Spirit at salvation to every believer, to serve the church effectively and to show Christ's love to the church and current culture thereby growing God’s Kingdom, bringing glory to God and building up the Body of Christ.

If you're motivated to learn about your spiritual gifts, I urge you to take an assessment. There are plenty out there that you can pay for. The one I used was free, and if you'd like to take it, click HERE.

I don't know if you're the least bit interested in my results, but just in case you are, the test says that my top three gifts are as follows:

1. Hospitality - The special ability God gives to some to provide an open home and warm welcome to those in need of food, lodging, and fellowship. It involves a readiness to invite strangers to your home (or church) for the sake of the Gospel.

2. Helps / Serving - The gift that enables a believer to work gladly behind the scenes in order that God's work is fulfilled. The special ability God gives to some to serve the church in a supporting roll or to invest their talents in the life and ministry of other members of the body enabling them to increase their effectiveness.

3. Leadership - The special ability God gives to some to set goals in accordance with God's purpose and to communicate these goals to others in such a way that they voluntarily and harmoniously work together to accomplish these goals for the glory of God.

Now...go take your own assessment. If you're up for it, post your results as a comment!

"Small Enough"

My good friend, Andrea, made a CD for a me a while back. A mix CD of praise songs and such that she likes. I let the CD sit around on my desk for months without listening to it. When I finally popped it in, I was sorry I hadn't done it the minute she gave it to me. It was on repeat in my CD player (yes, I still use the CD player in my car) for at least a month.

It is a fantastic CD.

In fact, it's now Layla's favorite CD, and she listens to it before she goes to bed every night.

Her favorite, and mine, is a song by Nichole Nordeman called, "Small Enough".

It is one of those songs that just resonates with my soul. Especially if I'm feeling sad, lonely, down, hurt, angry, confused, or _______ (fill in any emotion that's not so lovely).

One thing I dearly love about the song is that it references old testament scripture so many times. I'm kind of a dork, and I just love it when I come across a passage in the Bible and realize it was the inspiration for a praise song I've been singing.

Check out the lyrics to "Small Enough", and you'll see what I mean.

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

there were times when i was crying

from the dark of daniel's den

and i have asked you once or twice

if you would part the sea again

but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky

just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all the honor be

to the god of ancient mysteries

whose every sign and wonder

turn the pages of our history

but tonight my heart is heavy

and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer

"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall that's just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping, like in soloman's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs are on my head

oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

Did you notice all the OT scripture references? I love how she uses those OT stories to relate to our lives today...to put into perspective that our struggles aren't all that different from the stories in the Bible. I also love how she references those stories to remind us of God's faithfulness.

I searched for a video of this song, but I couldn't find anything official. Here's a slideshow someone put to the music. It's not exactly what I would choose, but it's pretty good. At the very least, you can at least hear how beautiful the song is. By the way, the song is on Nichole's CD "This Mystery", which was released in 2000.

I hope you like the song as much as Layla and I do.

His Hands and Feet

A team of seven people from our church are leaving tomorrow to head to another continent on a mission trip.

Due to the dangerous conditions where they're going, I can't get into specifics about the location, but let's just say it's a place that needs the love of Christ.

Our team will be working with a local orphanage, building a playground, serving meals, giving physical therapy (one of the team members is a physical therapist), and hopefully doing lots more as the Lord provides opportunities for them.

They will be gone for 10 days.

Please pray for their safety as they travel and as they are serving on foreign soil. Also pray that the Lord will make His glory known through them. They won't actually be able to share about Him verbally, so pray that the local people will see His glory through their actions.

They will be His hands and feet.

I'm so excited for our team, and I can't wait to hear their stories when they return. If you want to join me in praying for them the next 11 days, I will be most grateful.

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

A Lengthy List

Do you ever go through a time when you feel like you could pray all day long and not cover everyone that's on your prayer list?

I'm feeling that way today.

I honestly struggle with how to handle it. I know it's silly, but I want to pray for everyone that I know needs prayer, especially those I've told "I'll be praying for you." But the reality is, I also have two kids, laundry, dishes, Derrick's client event to help with, dinner, baths, etc.

I have realized in recent months (maybe years) that one key to finding time to pray for everyone is to actually make time to pray. It seems obvious, but it's so easy for me to spend my day doing all the other things that need to get done, only to find that I'm exhausted at bedtime. I lay down with the intention of covering my loved ones in prayer, when in reality I fall asleep about 30 seconds later, and boom...nobody got prayed for. And more importantly, I did not spend any time in direct connection with my Lord and Savior. Praying for people is a good thing, but it's even more important to spend time talking to and listening to the Lord...not always filling up every moment with something I'm asking for. Ya know?

I'm not perfect. I'm so far from perfect. I really wish I could be perfect. I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I suppose it's normal to want to be perfect. Plus, the Lord calls us to strive for perfection (Matthew 5:48), so it really is normal to be dissatisfied with imperfection. Or at least, that's how I justify my perfectionism. Got that?

I digress. What I wanted to say was that I'm not perfect, and far too many days go by where I do not pray as I should. Or as I want to. Days go by when I do not open my Bible. I'm ashamed, really, to admit it, but it's the truth.

If I were to step back and look at my life as whole, I would say I pray and study the Word far more regularly now than I ever have, but that's only by the grace of God. He has shown me the importance of daily spending time with him, reading about Him and talking to Him. My days are so much calmer when I am focused on Him, as an overflow of the time we spend together. Why, then, do I let days go by without focusing?

Which brings me back to the point of this post. My lengthy list.

Well, I guess the point is twofold. One, to admit my sinful ways, in hopes that admitting the truth will make me get more serious about my commitment to prayer and quiet time. More importantly, I want to share with you a few of the people at the top of my prayer list, in hopes that you might lift up a short prayer for them when you read their stories. I know each of them can use all the prayer they can get.

Eli Phillips - 18 months old, doctors discovered Tuesday that he had a (very likely) malignant tumor on his kidney, underwent 4 hours of surgery today as they removed one entire kidney (along with a very large tumor), is recovering in the PICU, doctors are doing biopsies of his lymph nodes to make sure the cancer hasn't spread

Please pray that the lymph nodes come back clear. Pray for peace and strength for his mommy & daddy too.

Diana Johnston - my aunt, admitted to ICU this morning with blood sugar over 500, she's a diabetic and has a history of not managing her sugar well in times of stress

Please pray for her health as well as for her in general. She's going through a rough patch.

Jeff Allen - a dear high school friend who was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease a few years ago and has had lots of medical issues related to it, underwent a colostomy within the last year in hopes of preventing further issues only to wind up having to have another surgery this week where they removed the rest of his colon, is having a tough time recovering from the surgery

Please pray for his health and recovery.

If you do lift up prayers for them, I really appreciate it. I know I can always feel it when people are covering me in prayer, and I want all three of these people to feel that way. It's so meaningful to know other people are interceding for you in your time of need. Don't you think?

Well, that's it for today. If you made it to the end of this post, you're a trooper. Thanks for listening to me ramble, and most importantly, thanks for lifting these sweet people up in prayer. The Lord is good, and His will is always perfect. That, I know, is true.

A Long but Unforgettable Weekend

I say weekend, but really it was more like a week and a half that culminated in a long but unforgettable weekend.

If you read this post, you know one of our best friend's dad found himself (quite suddenly) on a ventilator, with no sedation and no respiratory function, basically brain dead. After I posted, the family had to wait another 24 hours before the neurologist confirmed what they had been suspecting. Best case scenario, if the brain bleed resolved and respiratory function returned, there would still be no quality of life. No walking. No talking.

The family made a tough decision but one they were certain was the right one. They removed life support on Tuesday, August 10, at 2pm. We all prayed and prayed that it would be a smooth and quick process, and the Lord answered our prayers. He had mercy on Dr. David Hoover, and took him home quickly and peacefully.

Derrick and I knew right away that we wanted to be there in person to support our friends. I think both of us wished we would've rode with them when they left that Friday morning at 2am, headed to Ohio, not knowing what they were in store for. That probably wouldn't have been appropriate, but it was so hard seeing them go through such a tough time, being so far away. I just wanted to be there to help with the kids, cook, clean, hug, listen, and do all the other things you want to do for people when they're going through something of this magnitude. But, I have two kids of my own to take care of, and for this phase of my life, it just isn't feasible for me to be gone for an extended amount of time. So I stayed here in Georgia, praying, texting, and talking as they needed.

The cool thing is that I did have an opportunity to attend the memorial. A group of people from our church left Friday morning at 9am, headed for Ohio. Road trip!! It was a 9 hour drive that took 10 hours to get there and somehow took 12 hours to get home. It was worth every minute though, and really, it was a blast. I felt like I was in youth group again! Talking for hours upon hours in the car. Telling funny stories. Getting to know each other better. Then, most importantly, supporting and serving our sweet friends and their family as they said goodbye to a beloved father, husband, brother, grandfather, and friend. From what I hear, the service was beautiful. (I stayed inside watching the kids, which turned out to be a good job, because it was HOT. Even in Ohio.) It was truly an honor and privilege to be there for such an important moment in our friends' lives.

Seth's parent's farm house, where they held the memorial service.

It was at their family farm in South Solon, Ohio. It is BEAUTIFUL up there. I don't think I've ever seen such beautiful farm land. I really should've taken more pictures, but I was too busy talking and having a good time. We also drove through beautiful places in Kentucky. Lots of our friends at Momentum are from Kentucky, so it was great to see what they've been talking about for the past 3 years. It definitely is beautiful, and I think we barely got a taste of it.

Speaking of taste. We also got to experience something else I've been hearing about for years. Skyline chili. Did you know that people in Kentucky eat their chili on top of spaghetti, and they eat it with a fork? Very interesting. We tried it, and it was GOOD. Derrick and I split a four way, which is skyline talk for spaghetti noodles with chili, beans, and TONS of shredded cheese on top. It was delicious.

We got home at 1:45am Sunday morning, so it was a short trip with a lot of driving, but it was awesome. It meant so much to be there for our friends...to be able to hug their necks and deliver our condolences in person. I think it meant a lot to them too. It's a trip I'll never forget. If you ever get the chance to road trip with some of your good friends, even if it's just for a short trip, do it. Special bonds are built when you're in the car with people, driving across the country. There's nothin' like it.

Oh, and to wrap up the weekend, three people that I love were baptized yesterday. What a great way to end a long but unforgettable weekend!

my ways are higher than your ways

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, "

declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

This is the verse I'm clinging to today.

A dear friend's father is lying in a hospital bed, on a ventilator, with no sedatives.

Three days ago he was fine. Two days ago, he had mild "stroke" symptoms, he was taken to the ER, he was stabilized. He showed small signs of damage (slightly slurred speech, loss of some function on the left side), but he was "fine". Cutting up. Laughing. He would be fine, with some rehab therapy.

They took him for an MRI at 10 o'clock Thursday night. Just a routine test to make sure there wasn't anything they were missing. He laughed with his wife as they rolled him out of the room. She waited patiently for him to return.

As soon as the MRI was over, he went into respiratory failure and "coded", as they say it in the medical world. "Code blue" was said over the loudspeaker in the hospital, and my friend's mom had no idea that it was her husband they were talking about...until the social worker and chaplain came to get her.

Can you imagine?

My friend and his wife had gone to bed that night, thinking everything was going to be ok. Dad will need some rehab, but he's going to be fine. Praise the Lord it wasn't something worse.

They were awakened by a phone call at 12am, his mom telling him what had happened. Needless to say, they packed their things, put their 2 girls in the car, and left for Ohio at 2am in the morning. Drove all night, arriving at the hospital around 12pm yesterday (Friday).

Now they're there. Watching his dad. Lying in a bed. Looking great. His vitals are fine. His heart is beating well. But he's on a ventilator. With no sedation.

If you know anything about ventilators, you know that any time a patient is on one, they are sedated, because the second the patient starts to wake up, they generally claw at the cords and try to pull the tube out of their throat.

As it turns out, the MRI showed a large mass at the base of the brain stem. This mass was the cause of the "stroke", which turned out to not be a stroke at all. At the time of the MRI, the mass either caused a hemorrhage or started bleeding itself, and because of where the mass is located, it took out all respiratory function. Which led to the code blue.

My heart is heavy for my friends, and I'm so very sad for their entire family.

And listen to this. My friend's wife was scheduled to teach at Crave (a women's event at Momentum Christian Church) this Friday, August 13th. Interestingly, the topic she was going to talk about was peace. She felt very strongly that the Lord had laid that on her to teach, and she's had a heavy burden to share the message He's been teaching her, about peace, over the last few months. With all that's going on, she will quite possibly still be in Ohio on Friday, and even if she's not, she will be exhausted and emotionally spent. Obviously in no condition to speak in front of a crowd of ladies.

I just wonder. Why did the Lord pick this date for Crave, and put that heavy burden on her for peace, knowing she would not be there to teach it?

I know one glaringly obvious answer is that now she is at least well-versed in what the Lord has to say about peace, so she and her husband can cling to those verses during this time, and share them with the rest of the family.

But why else?

When I asked Him, He responded with this, so I'm clinging to it:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, " declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9