Having friends both younger and older makes things interesting. My friends who've been 30 for we won't say how long don't feel a bit of pity for me. Of course, their age makes me feel better. I can look at them and think...so and so is 3_, and she looks better than ever. The 30s are treating her right. Otherwise, it would be so tempting to look at my younger friends who are just entering their mid-late 20s, just having their first babies, and think...oh, I wish I was still that young!
I'm going to be honest here. You will probably think I'm a really spoiled brat after reading these honest thoughts, but I think it's important to be honest and vulnerable, even with the ugly parts of myself.
When I woke up this morning, I was not in a great mood. Here is a snippet of my train of thought:
"It's my 30th birthday. I am stuck at home with these kids. I am washing freaking dishes, and it's not even 8 o'clock. Who wants to wash dishes on their birthday? Who wants to listen to kids argue and yell at each other? I should be doing something fun. I'm turning 30, for goodness sakes. Surely this should be a special occasion. Derrick didn't even take off work. I really wish he would've taken off work and done something special for me. So and so's husband would definitely have taken off of work. Yes, I'm having lunch with a friend, which is a treat, but if I'm being honest, I want more. I deserve more, don't I..."
You get the idea. Ungrateful. Ugly. Unappreciative.
Praise the Lord that He didn't let me listen to those lies all day. After washing dishes, I sat down at my computer to check email. I saw lots of emails from Facebook showing the posts that various friends had left with birthday wishes. (People are kind of ridiculous about birthdays on Facebook, aren't they? Is that just me? On the flip side, for some silly reason, it makes me feel good to get birthday wishes from people I haven't seen or spoken to in years. I think that means I'm lame.) In addition to the wall posts, I had a message from a friend's mother. This sweet woman took time this morning to write me a personal birthday message. She wrote how thankful she was to know me and my family and told me how special we are to her family. Her note touched me deep inside, made me smile, and then the Lord was able to speak to my softened heart.
"You have so much to be thankful for, Lauren. Your children are healthy. You have had 3 healthy pregnancies and are about to meet your son any day now. Your feet aren't even swollen, and you're 4 days from your due date. You have friends that care enough about you to invite you to lunch or to make time for a special dinner. Your mom and your husband surprised you last night with an awesome birthday gift, flowers, and a cake. There are women all over the world in much worse situations. There is no time for a pity party. Be grateful for the many blessings I have poured out on you."
No, I did not hear those audible words, but I felt the Lord speaking them to my heart. He is so right. (Surprise, surprise.) I am blessed. Beyond measure. There is no reason, nor is there any time, for a pity party. Not one bit. And my age certainly does not determine my worth. My worth is found in my Savior, and His love does not for one second consider my age. I'm grateful to be in my 30s, still waking up each day, and I hope and pray that in this decade, Christ will be glorified in me.
Oh, and just in case you're curious, my awesome birthday present was...
That's right. An iPad 2. They got me. I was truly surprised. I can't wait to start playing with it! As it turns out, I'm going to need to upgrade my Mac operating system, because it's a little old, but hopefully I'll take care of that tonight. Soon, and very soon, I hope to be blogging from my new iPad. Whoop, whoop!
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