mommy lesson: bedtime routines

As a parent, I am learning every day...every minute, even. Especially with Elizabeth, my 2.5 year old. Since she's the first, she's the guinea pig. I do wonder sometimes how first children make it. It's definitely divine intervention, because I know I have made some colossal mistakes. Well, I say colossal. They probably just feel colossal. I don't know. I never know what other people are doing, so I often feel I am the only one making these big mistakes, but I have learned over the years that when you feel like you're the only one, you're usually not. So, other moms out there, I know you hear what I'm saying and you're shaking your heads. We all make mistakes. If you're like me, you just pray that God will protect your babies and keep you from messing them up too badly. For this particular post, I will focus on one particular mistake I made with Elizabeth - her bedtime routine.

When it was time for Elizabeth to move to her own room (5 months, I think), it seemed like a good idea to get her into a bedtime routine. The books all say a bedtime routine is helpful to get a child ready for sleep. Implementing the same few things in the same order each night helps them anticipate bedtime, and theoretically, this will make it easier for them to sleep. Of course, they all suggest that you keep your routine somewhat simple: put on pjs, read one book, and tuck them in (for example). Well, I don't know what happened to Elizabeth's bedtime routine, but somehow it became anything but simple. The routine seems to have taken on a life of its own, and it has gradually morphed over the last two years into this 30-45 minute intricate process that literally drives me crazy sometimes. I can't put my finger on exactly when it got to be so complicated, but I know it's been that way for a while, because I remember having to explain it to babysitters and feeling like such a crazy woman for having to write down all these steps to put my kid to bed. The note would look something like this:

Bedtime (between 8:30 and 9)

-take green blankie, paci, milk, and water upstairs

-put on pjs

-turn on lamp, turn off overhead light

-turn on noise machine

-turn on music (Elizabeth can do it herself)

-read three books, sitting on the floor in front of the chair

-turn off lamp

-sit in chair, rock, and sing 3 songs

-put Elizabeth in bed with blankie, paci, milk, and water

-cover her with her snuggle blanket

-tell her goodnight, and leave the room

And that's for the sitter. When I'm the one doing it (which is the norm), we also brush teeth, and lately she wants me to scratch her back and then rub her back. With all of that, I usually have to go back in the room once or twice to rock her again or bring her more water or whatever else she has come up with. Oh - and did I mention I do almost all of those things to put her down for a nap too? Everything is a phase, and we're in a hard bedtime phase right now, so this routine is overly complicated, but even when she's in a good bedtime phase, it's still ridiculous. Since I am the one to put her to bed every night (at her insistence, not because Derrick isn't willing), it gets OLD. Very old.

So the lesson is this: for those who have babies that you will soon be establishing a bedtime routine for, or for those who will have babies in the future - create a short, simple bedtime routine. I learned my lesson with Elizabeth, so Layla is much easier. I nurse her, if it's time for a feeding, then I lay her in the bed. If it's not time for a feeding, we may rock for a minute, then I lay her in the bed.

I will share something else that I think is very important...another lesson, if you will. If you do want to incorporate singing, make your song a praise song that you enjoy. Lately, I have been very aware that when I get in the chair with Elizabeth and start singing, no matter how frustrated I am from our day together (she's 2, so we have a lot of rough days), when we start singing "Light of the world, you stepped down into darkness. Open my eyes, let me see..." I am always refreshed and always glad to be sitting with my daughter, praising the Lord.