keith bardwell

I'm sure most of you have heard by now about this Justice of the Peace, Keith Bardwell of Louisiana, who denied to perform a wedding ceremony for a white woman and a black man. He has denied several other interracial couples in the past two years. His reason is that he's seen lots of interracial children who aren't accepted by either culture, so he doesn't want to take part in these marriages, which will theoretically produce children who will not be accepted.

The first I heard of this hot topic was when I was listening to The Bert Show this morning. They were discussing it and taking calls from listeners. A young woman, 27, called in and said she supported this man and his reasoning for not marrying the couples. She is a product of mixed-race marriage (white mom, black dad), and she said her life was very tough growing up. She wasn't accepted by black people (because her hair was too pretty), and she wasn't accepted by white people (because she had dark skin), so she spent most of her time at home with no friends. She contemplated suicide.

That really rocked me, made me cry even. Of course I thought about these things before I married Derrick and decided to have children with him. My family members warned me, as I'm sure Derrick's did. "It'll be so tough." "My main concern is for your kids." "You're setting yourself up for a lifetime of difficulty." Blah blah blah. I knew they meant well, but I had fallen in love with someone and had decided to marry him. I wasn't hearing that. I was, but I wasn't. My main response, which is still my response today and would be what I would tell Mr. Bardwell if I could, was "Yes, I know it may be difficult, but I don't need you to be one of the people adding to the difficulty. I need you to support me."

If the people who are so concerned about the welfare of the children, such as Mr. Bardwell, would focus that energy on loving and educating people, and furthering the cause of equal rights, we wouldn't have to worry about these biracial young people and whether they will fit in. I mean, if you really care about the kids, why not try to open your mind and accept people for who they are, not what color they are, and try to teach your children to do the same?

What really struck me as that young lady was talking is that I have two mixed daughters, and I do NOT want them to grow up to be 27 year old women who would support a man like Keith Bardwell. I hope to God they will never contemplate suicide, and especially not because they don't fit in. It's terrifying, really. Derrick and I have such a huge responsibility. We all do as parents, but our job is probably even tougher. We have to make sure we address the concerns that our children will have, and I hope and pray we will raise young women who are secure in the Lord, secure in themselves, and not worried about fitting in. That's the only way I think we'll be able to "get around" the pressures that come with being mixed and not fitting in.

I was scared this morning. I was. I still hear the woman's voice in my head, saying she had such a tough life and even contemplated suicide. I so don't want that for my girls. But really, I can't live a life of fear. That would definitely not benefit my girls. And so...I turn to the Lord. In prayer. In His word. There are many passages where God tells us not to fear, but this is the one I am clinging to today: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10) Thank you, God. I'm so glad to have Him with me, and in Him, I can find peace and know that I do not have to fear the tough things my girls will go through. If I put my trust and hope in Him, and teach them to do the same, we will prevail.